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For many of us, claiming personal power in our lives feels like a double edged sword. We want to express our wants and needs, we want to move in the direction of fulfilling them, but if you’ve been a people-pleaser all of your life, taking that step may feel like it requires stepping ON someone else’s wants, needs and emotions. Those with whom we’ve built relationships often subtly demand that we subvert our power by taking care of their needs, and anything we do to shift that balance is going to be met with resistance, anger, and possibly outright hostility.

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We have been programmed to put others’ needs first, to consider their feelings above our own, and to do anything else is considered to be selfish, disloyal and betraying. We have allowed our sense of well-being to be determined by the emotional climate around us. And those with whom we are closest have come to depend on us for their emotional stability. Erroneously, we’ve assumed responsibility for their feelings.

If you’re anything like most of us people pleasers, you’ll reach a point in your life where you just can’t stomach this kind of personal betrayal any longer. You’ll no longer be willing to dismiss your own peace of mind in an attempt to maintain the peace in your environment. Hopefully, you’ll begin to acknowledge that we’re actually doing a disservice to those around us by assuming responsibility for their pain. They’ll never grow themselves if we continue to remove the impetus for their personal growth.

These bonds of emotional responsibility weigh heavy over time. It’s okay to choose to finally set them down. It’s okay to choose to reclaim your personal power. It’s okay to let others own their choices, emotions and behaviors—and the consequences of those choices. It’s not only okay—it’s paramount.

Integral to the human experience is our ability to choose. Free will allows us to choose not only our actions, but our thoughts and beliefs as well. This ability to choose even allows us to choose bonds that tie us to another or that limit our belief that we even have choices. We always have choices. As the spiritual teacher Abraham-Hicks explains, we are so free that we can even choose bondage.

Having reached this precipice in my life, I can now see the value in allowing others to manage and navigate their own emotional world. I no longer need to mitigate their pain in order to feel peaceful. I understand the power that pain can provide in motivating us to change our thoughts, beliefs and behaviors. I now believe that it’s really not helpful to assume responsibility for anyone’s emotional well-being but my own. I have come to realize that I truly am free. I’ve been free to choose all along. Only now, I choose to be free.


You can now tune in to The Positive Head Podcast Monday – Friday each week! Every Wednesday, host Brandon Beachum interviews a different consciousness change-maker that is helping to pave the way for humanity as we collectively transition into a state of expanded consciousness and awareness. On the other weekdays, Brandon and his co-host Dalien give interpretations of their favorite quotes, share a bit of mind-expanding news, take questions from the audience, and dig into other positive topics they deem worthy of discussion.

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Sue Krebs
Sue Krebs combines years of academic study, intuitive skills and personal passion to help you bridge the gap between life as a physical being and your true spiritual nature. She delivers messages from your Soul in a loving, compassionate and non-judgmental style through Akashic Record Readings. When you’re ready to begin living in alignment with the highest version of yourself, Sue has the tools and the expertise to help you achieve that desire. Contact her at sue@soulspeaking.net for more information or to schedule a reading.

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