[Transcribed from podcast #308] Eckhart Tolle in The Power of Now, talks about Dissolving the Pain Body (chap. 6). The pain body being the part of self that needs healing, the ego-self. Essentially, whenever you get angry or upset or negative it is almost like being possessed and taken over. We acknowledge this as part of ourselves and we get lost in that pain. We become it, almost like a light switch being flipped. What’s really happening is there is a part of ourself that needs healing, needs processing, needs love, needs reintegration into the whole.
It’s like the unobserved mind is running your life. It is always coming from some form of non-acceptance of what is. At an emotional level it appears as negativity. It happens to all of us at different times. It’s essentially a resistance to the present moment. That is what a lot of the book talks about, moving into the now and finding peace. You are always okay in the now. The past doesn’t exist exactly like you remember it. You certainly can’t show it to me and prove it to me. The future is never going to come like you imagine. Yet you’re always okay in the now. All your pain comes from projections into the past and future. If you can relax into the now it helps to get you into that state of peace we are all striving for. Eckhart says the more you honor the now, the more you’re free of suffering. All pain is an illusion according to many spiritual teachers. But if you’re lost, that doesn’t really help you, so how can you make it true for you?
He also points out, that every high has a seed for pain in it. Being at peace with what is doesn’t mean it’s always going to be happiness, but peace you can always find. The emotional pain body is either dormant or active. The moment you observe it the identification with it is broken. He calls it presence. It can no longer use you and replenish itself through you. You found your innermost power once you start down this path. This is so important to get and understand. How empowering, the trick is up! This thing that has sort of been running you can no longer run you. It’s like a vacuum after pulling the plug, the vacuum may continue running for a moment, you may react to your next situation but that observation portion of yourself is going to move into the forefront and you’re going to catch yourself more and more until the vacuum winds down. It can only survive if it gets you to unconsciously identify with it and once you no longer do that you start down the road of self-healing.
When dealing with another’s pain body, Eckhart Tolle suggests saying as little as possible, be as present as possible, and be as compassionate as possible. A high degree of presence is necessary, and to deal with this sometimes you will need to remove yourself so that pain body can dissipate. It’s more trying if they’re in the same physical space with you all the time. It certainly is a challenge, but we can make the most of it and overcome the challenges. We can turn the lump of coal into a diamond. Imagine. Play the game. Start playing a game. It’s there for a reason. That it is happening for you, not to you. It is happening so you can hone your skills of creating your reality. You can start creating some time (maybe meditation time) where you imagine that person as you would like them to show up. Imagine what it would be like to see the transformation as they come out of it. Maybe you do things physically to help. Maybe you can offer them books to read (like The Power of Now), or podcasts to listen to, or videos to watch. Anything that can help expand their perspective. Make it a game. Practice being and sending love to them. Practice imagining. This can be such a fun game. Imagine them as you want them to be. Incredible transformations can happen. If indeed there are infinite versions of reality, then there is a version where they have the light of awareness go on and they can come out of it. Start imagining stepping into that version of reality and how rewarding it would feel. Don’t just think about it, but drum up the feelings. The feelings of what it would be like for them to show up the way you envision it. Imagine the highest, greatest and grandest version and start playing that game. Then even if it’s not happening, still continue to do it. Continue to put energy into it. Use it as a challenge for you to be as present as possible, compassionate as possible. Bringing in a high degree of presence. What are they doing? They are honing your craft. They are working you out. When you can bring that awareness to it, then you can make a game out of it. You will, I believe, see all kinds of improvement in yourself and them and everyone’s going to start winning. Now you can ask yourself, is this a negative situation or a positive situation? It is challenging but what great victory doesn’t come without a great challenge. So, that is my biggest piece of advice. Make it a game. Practice on them, imagine them showing up as you create them. You are the Creator, director, and lead actor in your own movie. This is your story. Where is it going to go next? How are you going to write it energetically?
The Power of Now also offers a great perspective for relationships, any relationship, especially romantic relationships. You can listen to the audio book or read it together. Once you both acknowledge how the pain body works, make an agreement with each other that you’re going to acknowledge when each other’s pain body is active. That doesn’t mean pointing the finger and telling them they are screwing up, making it worse. But very calmly being a check and balance for each other. Helping each other. If you can get to a place in your relationship where this is a part, especially if you’re having a lot of issues, fussing or negativity between you and your partner. If you can both get to a point where you acknowledge how this ego pain body works; and that you’re also going to help each other to be aware when the other slips into their pain body. Now you’re working together. Talk about a healing practice to participate in with your partner. I can’t encourage anything more strongly than that. Bringing the light of awareness and then also an activity to help each other. What a perfect opportunity for everyone.
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